# Can You Disagree With a Dog Trainer Without Being a Bad Dog Owner?

Yes.

You absolutely can.

In fact, I would go further.

You **should** be able to disagree with your dog trainer.

That might sound like a strange thing for a dog trainer to say. Surely, if you've paid someone for their expertise, you should listen to what they tell you?

Well, yes.

But listening isn't the same as obeying.

And expertise isn't the same as infallibility.

A good trainer should be able to explain *why* they are recommending something. They should be able to answer your questions. They should be able to discuss the alternatives. They should be willing to say, "I'm not sure," when the evidence isn't clear.

Most importantly, they should understand that **you are the person who has to live with the dog.**

Not them.

You.

You're the one who gets up at 6am when your dog has been barking all night.

You're the one who has to walk them.

You're the one who has to manage them around visitors.

You're the one standing at the end of the lead when another dog appears around the corner.

You're the one who has to make decisions when things don't go according to plan.

So, yes, your trainer may have more knowledge or experience in a particular area.

But you know your dog in a way that they never can.

That matters.

## The problem with putting trainers on pedestals

There is a strange culture that can develop around dog training.

Trainers become experts.

Experts become authorities.

Authorities become personalities.

And personalities develop followers.

Before long, we aren't just discussing ideas.

We're defending people.

This is where things can go wrong.

You see it everywhere.

One trainer says you should do X.

Another says X is harmful.

A third says anyone doing X shouldn't be allowed near a dog.

A fourth says anyone who doesn't do X is a terrible trainer.

And somewhere in the middle is a dog owner who is simply thinking:

*"I just want to help my dog."*

The owner can end up feeling like they have to pick a side.

Force-free.

Balanced.

Positive reinforcement.

Compulsion.

Science-based.

Relationship-based.

And whatever new label appears next.

But dogs don't care which tribe you belong to.

They don't know what your trainer calls themselves.

They don't know what methodology someone has put in their Instagram bio.

They care about what happens to them.

And sometimes, the most important question isn't:

**"Which trainer is right?"**

It's:

**"What actually works for this dog, in this situation, while protecting their welfare?"**

## You are allowed to ask questions

If your trainer tells you to do something and you don't understand why, ask.

"Why?"

If they recommend a particular approach, ask what the alternatives are.

If something doesn't feel right, say so.

If you try something and it isn't working, tell them.

If your circumstances make their advice impractical, explain that.

And if you don't agree?

You are allowed to say:

*"I'm not comfortable with that."*

That doesn't make you a bad owner.

It doesn't mean you don't care.

It doesn't mean you're stubborn.

It means you're thinking.

A good trainer shouldn't be threatened by that.

In fact, I would argue that a trainer who can't tolerate being questioned is probably the trainer you *most* need to question.

## But what if your trainer is right?

This is where it gets uncomfortable.

Sometimes your trainer might tell you something you don't want to hear.

They might tell you that your dog needs more structure.

That you're accidentally reinforcing a behaviour.

That your expectations are unrealistic.

That your dog isn't ready for the freedom you want to give them.

That the problem you've been trying to fix for six months isn't actually the problem.

Or that the thing you desperately want to do isn't in your dog's best interests.

You might disagree.

And that's okay too.

But disagreement should work both ways.

Just as you should be able to question your trainer, you should also be willing to consider the possibility that **you might be wrong**.

That's the difficult bit.

It's easy to demand that other people remain open-minded.

It's much harder to remain open-minded ourselves.

## The best trainers don't want obedience from their clients

They want understanding.

There is a difference.

If I tell you to do something and you blindly do it because I said so, I haven't necessarily done a very good job as a trainer.

You may follow my instructions perfectly for the next two weeks.

But what happens when something changes?

What happens when your dog reacts differently?

What happens when you move house?

What happens when your dog gets older?

What happens when you're faced with a situation we never discussed?

If you've only learned to follow instructions, you may be stuck.

If you've learned *how to think*, you have a chance.

That's why I don't want clients who simply do what I say.

I want clients who understand what they're doing and why.

I want them to ask questions.

I want them to challenge assumptions.

I want them to tell me when something isn't working.

Because ultimately, my job isn't to become the person your dog depends on.

It's to help you become the person **your dog** can depend on.

## There's a difference between disagreement and dismissal

Of course, there's a difference between disagreeing with someone and dismissing them.

You can disagree respectfully.

You can say:

*"I don't think that's right for my dog."*

You can say:

*"I've read something different."*

You can say:

*"Can you explain why you recommend that?"*

You can even say:

*"I'm not convinced."*

None of those statements are attacks.

They're conversations.

And conversations are how we learn.

The problem comes when disagreement turns into certainty.

When we stop listening.

When we decide that anyone who thinks differently must be stupid, cruel, ignorant, or dangerous.

That applies to dog owners.

It applies to trainers.

And it applies to me.

## I don't know everything

There are things I know.

There are things I think I know.

There are things I don't know.

And there are things I don't know **yet**.

The older I get, the more comfortable I become with that distinction.

I've changed my mind about things.

I've changed my methods.

I've changed my understanding.

I've learned from other trainers.

I've learned from clients.

I've learned from mistakes.

And, perhaps most importantly, I've learned from dogs who didn't behave the way I expected them to.

Every dog is capable of teaching us something that doesn't fit neatly into our existing beliefs.

The question is whether we're curious enough to listen.

## So, can you disagree with your dog trainer?

Absolutely.

You can disagree with me.

You can disagree with another trainer.

You can disagree with a book you've read.

You can disagree with something you've seen on social media.

You can even disagree with the advice that everyone else seems to think is obvious.

You are not a bad dog owner because you ask questions.

You are not a bad dog owner because you want to understand.

You are not a bad dog owner because you choose a different approach.

But there is one responsibility that comes with that freedom.

You have to be willing to think.

Not just defend your position.

Not just follow the loudest voice.

Not just believe the person with the biggest following.

Think.

Ask questions.

Look at the evidence.

Pay attention to your dog.

Be willing to change your mind.

And remember that the goal isn't to win an argument with your trainer.

The goal is to help your dog.

Because if we can disagree without becoming enemies, question without becoming defensive, and change our minds without feeling like we've lost—

perhaps we can spend a little less time arguing about who is right...

and a little more time asking the question that actually matters:

**What does this particular dog need from me, right now?**

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